Romance Gets Better with Good Meals and Drinks!! by Ava Archer

I filled a glass with vodka, and then squeezed some ketchup into it. Ingredients: “Relax, it’s just a Bloody Mary. Plus, it’s an adorable way to get hammered. What I’d recommend is soaking the gummies in a glass of God’s Greatest Alcoholic Gift, to let the liquor marinate into those little bears. The gummies (WILL YOU STOP SAYING “GUMMY” SO MUCH?) are too chewy and the scotch is too powerful to be ingested at the same time. Trying to drink scotch while simultaneously chewing on a gummy bear is a lot tougher than it seems – and not particularly flavorsome, either. Ingredients: Scotch…and (six) gummy bears

It was an unpleasant ménage à trois, with the steak attempting to force its way into the proceedings, while the Nutella and eggs happily made love together in my mouth. Nutella, eggs, and steak, though: not so much. It should replace Cadbury Eggs during Easter-time, and everyone would be fatter and happier for it. Putting Nutella – which if given the option between killing my entire family or getting the world’s last container of the sinfully delicious hazelnut spread, SORRY GRANDPA – on the eggs was wonderful. This is the meal that Archer hopes for, but never gets, on his birthday. No ocelots were cooked in the making of this post. The more clearly opened the bottle, the better!)

If there’s anyone out there with access to cheap green liquor, let us know. (We wanted to make a Green Russian, but absinthe is more expensive than we thought. We (“we” being myself and photographer Nadia) made food and drinks from throughout the show’s run, including breakfast chow paired with Nutella and one of the foulest things I’ve ever drank – and I’ve had Diet Mountain Dew.

Previously on TV Gourmet: we prepared meals from “Happy Endings,” “The Simpsons,” “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “Freaks and Geeks,” and “30 Rock.” Today, we’re focusing on FX’s “Archer,” which just finished its superb, excellent, other synonyms for “awesome” third season.

Romance Gets Better with Good Meals and Drinks!! by Ava Archer